Salaam - How Can I Deal With Negative Thoughts?
As-salamu alaykum. Do you feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts and you’re not sure why? Do you spend more time complaining than enjoying the blessings in your daily life? I want to share some thoughts that might help you turn those dark moments into something more constructive, so you can improve your everyday life, insha'Allah. Often, events from our childhood shape our personality, fears, and how we respond to challenges. In that time we form habits and basic reactions that stick with us. Depending on how much love, kindness, and security we experienced at home or school, that “programming” can be helpful or harmful later on. Sometimes we learn to see life reactively. If people around us when we were growing up tended to complain about others or circumstances, we may have absorbed that pattern. That habit of constant complaining can trap someone in a cloud of negativity, because the world rarely matches the standards our mind insists on as “fair.” Another cause of dark thinking is the need to win every argument or situation. After conflicts we may replay the most painful moments and hold on to them. Ask yourself: will reliving those losses change the past or help you feel better now? Aside from satisfying the ego’s wish for revenge, what real benefit does that bring? Consider allowing yourself to lose some battles in order to gain inner peace. Which will bring more peace: forcing a victory in every encounter, or letting go of some things so you can be calmer more often? Once you recognize these two patterns - reactivity and the need to win - you can choose to redirect that dark energy into something useful. You have the strength to use negative thoughts as fuel to take actions that improve your situation: physical health, work, study, or community involvement. When you’re low on motivation, channel the pain from passivity into a step forward, however small. That will produce far better results than letting your mind feast on misery. Think about trading rumination for personal growth. Which direction will truly change your life for the better? I know it’s easier said than done, especially if you feel surrounded by darkness. Imagine that the negativity inside you is like powerful gunpowder - why not redirect it to create light along the path your heart and will desire? Remember you can be responsible for your actions even when controlling thoughts feels hard. With time and practice, you’ll spot negative thinking sooner, and it will be up to you to decide how to use that energy for good, by Allah’s help. So what is your choice? Self-suffering or positive change? Which will guide your actions and your future - darkness or light? Who is in charge of your life - your mind or your soul? If you’re struggling and can’t yet see the light, please keep going and keep trying. You have my du’as and support; may Allah give you strength and ease your difficulty.