Need for Guidance and Forgiveness

Assalaamualaikum, This is an anonymous message for obvious reasons. A lot has happened over the past year. I committed sins like zina, I lied, I hurt people close to me, and I’ve seen the fallout. I’ve lost friends, the woman I loved, relationships I had, and most recently someone almost took their own life because of what I did. Alhamdulillah they are still with us, and I told their family so they can watch over them. This all happened within the last week. I can honestly say I might have done the same in their place. Nothing feels like it can be fixed. It seems like there’s no hope left. I haven’t prayed since June. Of everyone I owed explanations to, only one person spoke to me without judging. Their advice was that only Allah (swt) can change my situation, and maybe things aren’t improving because I’m trying to force change myself instead of trusting Him. I don’t really know what I want from writing this. Maybe sympathy, maybe someone to listen, maybe empathy. After this I plan to pray and try to rebuild my relationship with Allah (swt) and pray that things get better. Please keep me and those I’ve harmed in your duas. Nothing matters more to me than the safety and wellbeing of the people I hurt, and I don’t know any way to guarantee that except to return to Allah (swt). I hope it’s not too late and that things will be okay. Sorry for the long message.