Lowest point in my life - felt like Allah comforted me
Assalamu alaikum. I recently did something sinful that left me feeling absolutely awful. The guilt swallowed me up, and for a while I was drowning in dark thoughts. I honestly felt like I was losing my mind - the lowest I’d ever been. I don’t know why, but in that moment the only thing I could think to do was listen to the Qur’an. I’m not the most practicing person, and there are times I even doubt. Still, something inside me pushed me to try it. I grabbed my tablet, searched for a recitation, and pressed play. At first nothing happened. I just stared at the screen thinking it wasn’t helping. But my body kept listening. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the tablet, hoping for some change. Then, out of nowhere, it felt like the Qur’an’s sound filled my ears more and more, even though the volume was already full. Tears started to form, and before long I was openly sobbing. The recitation seemed to grow stronger with every tear. In that moment I felt like Allah Himself was comforting me. The feeling in those minutes was something I’d never known before. Nothing and no one had made me feel that way. I found myself quietly asking forgiveness: “Allah, forgive me for my sins.” “Allah, forgive me for doubting You.” “Allah, forgive me for my shameful thoughts.” I cried for at least ten minutes until the recitation ended - probably the hardest I’d cried in years. When it finished, I felt a calm I hadn’t felt before. The intrusive, harmful thoughts were mostly gone. Now I’m left wondering what actually happened. Was that Allah comforting me? Or was it some psychological reaction? I’d appreciate if someone more experienced could help me understand what this might mean.