Looking for Guidance as a New Muslim in a Difficult Situation

Salaam everyone, I became Muslim in my early twenties after meeting a brother in university. We talked for a long time and became close, and after more than a year, I embraced Islam. All through that time, we developed feelings and found ourselves in a relationship that was not in line with our deen. I know what Allah (SWT) teaches about avoiding zina and staying away from anything leading to it. Since I'm fairly new to Islam, I'm carrying a lot of guilt and have tried to set boundaries, like avoiding physical contact, but sometimes I still struggle and slip. I used to be a source of calm for him when we were just friends, and we’ve talked often about marriage. Lately, however, we've been arguing a lot, and he says things that really hurt me. I turn to Allah with my duas and prayers, hoping things improve, but I’m just not sure anymore. During Ramadan, we went to Tarawih prayers and broke our fasts together publicly, which made things even more confusing. My heart feels so split because I care for him deeply-I’m grateful he introduced me to Islam (though I didn’t revert for him)-yet the painful words from him have left me really wounded. We’ve had our highs and lows, even periods where we didn’t talk, and I’ve also done things I regret and keep seeking forgiveness for. I keep praying that Allah blesses us and turns our relationship into something halal, but I believe we both need to find peace within ourselves and with each other first. I would really appreciate some support and advice. I genuinely love and care about him, yet my attempts to communicate sometimes end up causing more hurt. I just wish we could heal and move forward, and that my past before Islam wasn't used against me. I pray for Allah’s barakah and strength to stay firm and avoid slipping further into what’s haram. A side note: my family doesn’t support my Islam, and I’ve had to distance myself from people I knew before. If marriage isn’t in our future, I know I might have to start fresh on my own. I’m also dealing with some past personal and family issues, and inshaAllah, I plan to seek counseling soon. JazakAllah khair for listening.