Feeling Distant from Allah’s Mercy

I really need someone to listen without just saying what I’m doing is haram. I’ve messed up big time. I can’t even accept myself, so how could Allah accept me? I got a car with an interest-based loan, and within a month, it was wrecked and I ended up in the hospital with broken bones, still healing now. Even while recovering, I keep falling into zina. And I have music playing at home almost all day. I try my best, but with ADHD, controlling impulses feels impossible, and in prayer, I lose focus and forget which surah I’m on-it’s not shaytan, it’s just me. Lately, I’ve been missing prayers too, and I feel like Allah is making me forget because He doesn’t want to meet me. After committing zina, I don’t know how to talk to Him or seek forgiveness. What can I even say this time? Just empty words so I can cope and sin again? I’m so ashamed that it feels hard to face Him because He knows I’m a liar. I need help. I’m not ready for the afterlife at all. Please don’t just tell me to stop sinning and be sincere-I know that, but I’m too weak with my ADHD impulses. Has anyone felt this way and found a way back to hope?