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3 months ago

Is my friend justified in feeling betrayed?

As-salamu alaykum. I have a friend who was in an impermissible relationship with a girl. They agreed they would make things halal next year because of school, and she promised him marriage later on. Everything seemed okay, but one night she suddenly changed and started distancing herself for no clear reason. She ended the relationship saying she wasn’t ready to make it halal and was afraid of sin, but then she started seeing another man about three weeks later. My friend is devastated. He was close with her family and feels deeply hurt and betrayed. Is it reasonable for him to feel this way? He makes dua every day that she feels remorse for how she treated him because he feels disrespected. He’s been in a bad spiral since then and is now afraid to trust or commit to anyone. Are his feelings valid, and is the dua he’s making acceptable - asking that she feel guilt for what she did? Edit: I know many replies point out that the relationship was wrong in the first place and I agree. But please try to see it from his perspective: he was promised marriage next year, and within two weeks she seemed to change her mind and was with someone else. That would hurt anyone. So even if the relationship was impermissible, that didn’t give her the right to mislead him and suddenly treat him that way. She could have ended things honestly instead of giving false promises and then being with another person.

+184

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5comments
3 months ago

Yeah man, his feelings are totally valid. Promises and trust matter regardless of the situation. Hard to just switch off like that.

+7
3 months ago

I get why he’s praying for her to feel remorse, but dwelling on revenge-of-feelings can eat you alive. Hope he finds peace instead.

+7
3 months ago

Not sure asking for her to feel guilt is great - better to ask Allah to soften his heart and help him move on. Still, his hurt is understandable.

+6
3 months ago

Brutal situation. Even if it was wrong, being misled and then seeing her with someone else would sting. He should focus on healing.

-1
3 months ago

Man, been there. Trust shattered is awful. He deserves support, not judgement. Dua for guidance and patience is fine, just don’t let bitterness take over.

+8
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