Is it okay to have preferences in halal marriage? Need honest advice, please
Assalamu Alaikum everyone, I’ve been seriously looking for marriage for about 3 years and I’m getting a bit confused, so I want to ask honestly. I’m a 26-year-old Muslim brother living in London, UK. I’m trying to do things the halal way - using marriage groups, apps, community contacts, WhatsApp/Facebook circles, and even paid services - but I rarely get accepted or get proper responses. I’m a bit nervous to ask this openly: is it Islamically or socially wrong to have preferences when looking for a spouse? To be frank, I’m most drawn to pretty white Caucasian revert Muslimahs. I respect everyone and don’t judge by race, but that’s just what my heart tends toward. Sometimes I feel judged or rejected because I say that, and it makes me wonder if having preferences is the problem. Many reverts and born-Muslim sisters haven’t accepted me even though I’m respectful and serious, so I’m questioning whether my preferences are making things harder. For clarity: - I will give a proper mahr. - I’m not a UK citizen, but I meet the legal requirements for a spouse visa - salary criteria, English tests (I have a master’s), and so on. - I’m fully prepared to support my wife legally and Islamically. Another honest question: if I can’t find a revert sister, is it permissible to marry a modest Christian woman who believes in God, is respectful, and is willing to live a halal life? I’m asking for sincere advice and opinions - not placing a marriage ad - because this has been weighing on me for a long time. JazakAllah khair to anyone who offers guidance.