Is it just me, or does trying to be a “good Muslim” feel like life on hard mode? - need perspective

As-salamu alaykum, everyone. TL;DR: Male, skeptical but curious. Feels like trying to be a “good Muslim” is harder than how others seem to live. Struggling with the rules vs just living life. How do you deal with guilt and the sense of being tested without feeling trapped? Hey, I’m a young guy from an Indian Muslim background. I’m speaking to anyone who’s felt out of step with a more traditional family because their own thoughts and choices drift a bit from what their community accepts. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a mid‑twenties identity crisis. To be honest, the last few years I’ve lived pretty un‑Islamically. I saw and enjoyed parts of the world, made choices for myself, and didn’t stress about the “red tape” I used to hear about growing up. But recently I had a real moment where I couldn’t just dismiss my faith anymore-I felt like I needed to actually try to understand and reconnect. So I’m trying to come back, but the more I look at the rules, the tougher it feels. Does anyone else feel like practicing Islam is like playing life on the hardest setting? People around us-those who don’t follow religion or follow other beliefs-seem to live and enjoy themselves without the same nagging guilt. It’s like we’re told “don’t do this, don’t say that,” and everything can be framed as sin, big or small. And for what? The test? I wrestle with the logic. If Allah’s mercy and love are as great as we’re told, why does free will seem in conflict with the boundaries set? It feels like we’re given strong human desires and then warned that acting on them-even in ways that feel minor compared to the vast universe-could have huge consequences. It seems unfair sometimes that we must overcome so many internal and external struggles just to be “okay” in Allah’s sight, while others appear to get by without that burden. I’m asking from a place of skepticism but real desire to believe. I can’t switch off thinking critically. I grew up in a traditional home where the default reply to every question was basically “because that’s what Islam says,” and that answer doesn’t satisfy me anymore. I want to find a way to be a normal, modern person while being sincere in my faith, without feeling like I’m locked in a spiritual prison. I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve felt this tension-balancing wanting to enjoy life, wanting to be good in Islam and pleasing Allah, and also fitting in with a traditional Muslim family. How did you handle the guilt, the rules, and the feeling of being tested? Any practical advice or perspectives that helped would mean a lot.