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I’m Lost - Need Guidance

Assalamu alaikum. I’m a Muslim uni student and I feel stuck in a mess I can’t seem to get out of. I won’t drag this on, but I need to put it out there because it’s been eating me up for weeks. A couple of years ago I met someone online and things escalated - I know it was zina and I regret it. For a while it felt great, then I realized how wrong it was. I told her I’m Muslim and couldn’t carry on, so I broke it off. After some back-and-forth she convinced me to come back, saying she’d revert so we could marry. I told her not to do it just for me but for the sake of Allah, and we didn’t push the subject much after that. I thought we could work toward marriage, but then she confided that she’s bisexual and wanted to be open about it. That crushed me. I cried a lot. I can’t reconcile how she could identify that way and be serious about our future. She even has queer symbols up in her room and doesn’t seem like the type to change easily. She says she wants to marry, but whenever I share my concerns about LGBT beliefs she calls it a “red flag.” When I said that if we had kids I’d teach them from an Islamic perspective that that lifestyle is wrong, she reacted like I’d done something monstrous. I don’t expect her to suddenly see things my way. I don’t want to lose her, and she’s a good person in many ways, but this belief of hers is something I can’t accept. One of us would have to change for marriage, and I’m not prepared to abandon my faith to support something I believe is wrong. I’m not asking for a flood of advice, but any guidance would help. I just needed to get this off my chest. It hurts so much and I’m painfully reminded why dating outside marriage is harmful - I learned that the hard way. Astaghfirullah, may Allah forgive our sins and guide us. Jazakum Allah khair for listening.

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Oof, that sounds really painful. If your core values clash that badly, it’s okay to step back. Protect your iman and mental health first, even if it hurts.

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I won’t sugarcoat it - mixing faith and modern relationships can be messy. You did right by recognizing the mistake and wanting to fix things. Keep seeking forgiveness, talk to a scholar, and don't make any irreversible decisions alone.

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Tough spot. Honest conversation and boundaries are key. If she won’t meet you halfway on something that matters to you, you might have to accept it’s not meant to be. Prayers for you.

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Bro, been there with the guilt part. Don't rush anything. Seek counsel from a knowledgeable imam and maybe counselling. You need clarity for your own peace, not just to please someone else.

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Man, I feel you. That’s a heavy place to be - faith and future are massive. Take time to pray and think before any big move, and lean on someone you trust for support.

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