Salam.lifeSalam.life
BestNewFollowingCharity
BestNewFollowingCharity
© 2026 Salam.life
4 months ago

I’m Lost - Need Guidance

Assalamu alaikum. I’m a Muslim uni student and I feel stuck in a mess I can’t seem to get out of. I won’t drag this on, but I need to put it out there because it’s been eating me up for weeks. A couple of years ago I met someone online and things escalated - I know it was zina and I regret it. For a while it felt great, then I realized how wrong it was. I told her I’m Muslim and couldn’t carry on, so I broke it off. After some back-and-forth she convinced me to come back, saying she’d revert so we could marry. I told her not to do it just for me but for the sake of Allah, and we didn’t push the subject much after that. I thought we could work toward marriage, but then she confided that she’s bisexual and wanted to be open about it. That crushed me. I cried a lot. I can’t reconcile how she could identify that way and be serious about our future. She even has queer symbols up in her room and doesn’t seem like the type to change easily. She says she wants to marry, but whenever I share my concerns about LGBT beliefs she calls it a “red flag.” When I said that if we had kids I’d teach them from an Islamic perspective that that lifestyle is wrong, she reacted like I’d done something monstrous. I don’t expect her to suddenly see things my way. I don’t want to lose her, and she’s a good person in many ways, but this belief of hers is something I can’t accept. One of us would have to change for marriage, and I’m not prepared to abandon my faith to support something I believe is wrong. I’m not asking for a flood of advice, but any guidance would help. I just needed to get this off my chest. It hurts so much and I’m painfully reminded why dating outside marriage is harmful - I learned that the hard way. Astaghfirullah, may Allah forgive our sins and guide us. Jazakum Allah khair for listening.

+182

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

5comments
4 months ago

Oof, that sounds really painful. If your core values clash that badly, it’s okay to step back. Protect your iman and mental health first, even if it hurts.

+5
4 months ago

I won’t sugarcoat it - mixing faith and modern relationships can be messy. You did right by recognizing the mistake and wanting to fix things. Keep seeking forgiveness, talk to a scholar, and don't make any irreversible decisions alone.

+3
4 months ago

Tough spot. Honest conversation and boundaries are key. If she won’t meet you halfway on something that matters to you, you might have to accept it’s not meant to be. Prayers for you.

+5
4 months ago

Bro, been there with the guilt part. Don't rush anything. Seek counsel from a knowledgeable imam and maybe counselling. You need clarity for your own peace, not just to please someone else.

+5
4 months ago

Man, I feel you. That’s a heavy place to be - faith and future are massive. Take time to pray and think before any big move, and lean on someone you trust for support.

+7
By platform rules, comments are available only to users with the same gender as the post author.

Log in to leave a comment

Best posts

16h ago

As a new Muslim, I'm facing a lot of inner struggles and need advice.

+232
16h ago

Struggling with faith and self-acceptance as a Muslim

+207
🌙

Welcome to the Salam.life!

🌐

AI translation of posts and comments into 30+ languages

👥

Separate feeds for Brothers and Sisters plus haram filter

💚

Charity projects from trusted Islamic foundations

22h ago

Struggling with faith and self-acceptance as a Muslim

+220
21h ago

I'm trying to understand Islam's stance if a father denies a marriage proposal without proper Islamic grounds, favoring a cousin instead

+208
22h ago

Looking for a Verified Compilation of Allah's 99 Names?

+222
19h ago

Reclaiming My Faith: A Question About Returning to Islam

+169
23h ago

As a new Muslim, I'm facing a lot of inner struggles and need advice.

+220
23h ago

Wondering About Al-Aqsa Mosque's Importance?

+222
21h ago

Wondering About Al-Aqsa Mosque's Importance?

+184
18h ago

Dh100 million pledged to UAE's Mother of the Nation project to support orphan care | The National

Dh100 million pledged to UAE's Mother of the Nation project to support orphan care | The National
+146
1d ago

Makhachkala is getting decked out for Ramadan

Makhachkala is getting decked out for Ramadan
+217
22h ago

Navigating Ramadan while working offshore

+151
16h ago

Salam everyone! Which country do you recommend for Muslims looking to migrate?

+103
1d ago

Bismillah - A Simple Reminder to Uplift Our Days

+316
1d ago

UK Athletics admits corporate manslaughter after death of Emirati Paralympian

UK Athletics admits corporate manslaughter after death of Emirati Paralympian
+169
1d ago

Salam! Wondering about Good Examples in Islam Today

+321
1d ago

A Sincere Plea for Dua: My Brother is Fighting Stage IV Cancer

+310
17h ago

US sanctions RSF commanders over Darfur atrocities

US sanctions RSF commanders over Darfur atrocities
+104
1d ago

Iftar in Dagestan with the participation of the regional leader.

Iftar in Dagestan with the participation of the regional leader.
+187
1d ago

Thinking About Becoming a Muslim and Taking the Shahadah

+198
🌙

Welcome to the Salam.life!

🌐

AI translation of posts and comments into 30+ languages

👥

Separate feeds for Brothers and Sisters plus haram filter

💚

Charity projects from trusted Islamic foundations