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4 months ago

I reverted to Islam and my mom reacted badly - feeling very alone

As-Salamu alaikum. Alhamdulillah, I recently reverted to Islam and for the first time in my life I’ve felt a real sense of peace. I said the Shahada 10 days ago and have been keeping my Salah, and it honestly feels right. I told my mom, who I always thought was open-minded and someone I could trust. We’re Canadian with western-European roots; she’s a moderate western feminist and I was a Christian for the past 12 years, so I expected a tough conversation but also some support. Instead her response shocked me. She told me my decision made her physically sick, that she couldn’t sleep for days, and then she started sending me a bunch of negative things she’d “researched” about Islam. She talked like Islam necessarily equals extremism and painted the Hadiths as automatically sexist. She even said she’d try to step in if I ever had a daughter because she’s convinced I’d treat her unfairly. It felt like she doesn’t believe I could truly have become Muslim. I still love her and I know she’s never abandoned us, but this has shown me her trust in me is conditional. That realization hurts more than I expected. She was the last person I’d planned to lean on, and now I don’t feel safe opening up to anyone. I’m not doubting my choice to become Muslim, but I am hurting and mostly numb. I’ve already been through a lot - abuse from my father, betrayal by my ex-fiancee, losing friends to addiction - and this feels like losing the last bit of support. It’s just me and Allah (SWT) right now. Why would Allah test me like this? What lessons should I try to take from it? Can I keep moving forward without another person to lean on, or does anyone have practical ways to cope with this kind of family rejection? Any kind, friendly advice would mean a lot. Jazakum Allahu khairan.

+152

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5comments
4 months ago

As a guy who reverted a few years back, find a small local mosque or an online community. Having one person to talk to helps. Also boundaries with your mom are okay. Jazakum Allahu khair.

+11
4 months ago

Stay strong, brother. You're not alone - Allah's with you. It sucks your mom reacted that way, but your peace matters. Keep praying and take it day by day.

+5
4 months ago

Man, that hits hard. I lost my dad's support too when I changed faith. Time and consistency helped - actions often show the truth more than words. Don't rush forgiveness, but keep being kind.

+12
4 months ago

Give her space, she might panic out of fear. But protect your own peace first. If it gets toxic, limit contact and find brothers who get you. You're not doing anything wrong.

+8
4 months ago

Practical stuff: stick to Salah, keep a journal, start short duas each morning, and maybe see a counsellor for the old traumas. You don't have to carry everything alone, even if it feels like it.

+8
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