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How do you get through the first days after losing a father?

Assalamu alaikum, I’m sharing this because I’m having a really hard time and I don’t know who else to ask. My father passed away one week ago. He was in a hospice for two weeks with cancer and passed away peacefully. Alhamdulillah his death was calm, but the grief since then has been crushing. I can’t stop seeing certain scenes in my head - taking him to the mosque, the ghusl, the janazah, him being carried. It plays on repeat and feels so fresh, like it all happened yesterday, even though it’s already been a week. The part that hurts most is his face and the way he looked at my children just before he died. During that final week, he was mostly asleep, but the moments he woke up are the ones I keep remembering. I can’t seem to get away from those images, and my chest just aches constantly. I’m having trouble accepting that someone who was part of my daily life and whom I loved so much is gone. I know in my mind that this dunya is temporary and that, inshAllah, we’ll meet again by Allah’s mercy - but emotionally it’s so hard to hold onto that right now. I’m trying to have sabr, making dua for him, and reminding myself of qadr, but some days it feels like I’m just surviving each hour. For anyone who’s lost a parent, especially a father, how did you manage in the early days? Is it normal for memories and images to be this overwhelming? Does it slowly become easier to breathe and sleep? Any practical advice, Islamic reminders, or duas that helped you would mean a lot. Please keep my father in your duas. JazakAllahu khair.

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May Allah give you patience. The first week was a blur for me - I kept thinking I’d hear his voice. Surround yourself with family, keep making dua, and don’t rush 'feeling fine.' It does get easier in small steps.

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This hit me. Took me months before the sharpness softened. The flashbacks are normal - they fade but don’t erase. Try short walks, sipping tea with a sister friend, and keep saying istighfar. May Allah reward your patience.

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Sending you love. Those flashes take time - try to give yourself small routines: pray, eat, rest, and name one happy memory each day. It helped me anchor to the good. Your feelings are valid, may Allah grant him jannah.

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So sorry, sister. It’s okay to not be okay right now. I found writing letters to him (that I never sent) and reading them aloud was strangely healing. Also simple duas: 'O Allah forgive him and make his grave spacious.'

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I felt exactly like you. The first days I slept in short bursts and kept replaying little moments. Reciting SubhanAllah and durood on the Prophet (s) helped break the loop for me. Keep asking others to make dua, we’re with you.

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Wa alaikum assalam sister, I’m so sorry for your loss. One week is still so new - those images are normal. Keep making dua, let yourself cry, and lean on family. I found reading Surah Yasin and making dua helped my heart a bit. Sending duas for your father.

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I’m so sorry for your pain. I couldn’t stop seeing my dad’s face either. Holding my kids close and sharing stories about him with them helped slowly change the memories into warm ones. May Allah ease your heart.

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