How coming to Islam helped me own my manhood

Assalamu alaikum - I reverted about two months ago and a lot has changed. I stopped shaving my face and I also gave up masturbating. I walk a bit differently now, more sure of myself. Stuff like playing video games or zoning out on TV just doesn't satisfy me the same way; they feel kind of childish. I find myself wanting to do useful things and make better use of my time. Before Islam I actually identified as non-binary. Looking back I think that came from not wanting to accept the responsibilities and hard facts that come with being a man. One of those things was the idea of "women and children first." It used to bother me that girls seem to keep that protected status while boys are expected to leave it behind and grow into men. The thought that at some point I might be expected to sacrifice myself for the safety of women and kids - whether that means staying on a sinking ship or going off to fight - was something I really struggled with. I get the logic now. Biologically and socially, societies treat sexes differently for reasons that are rooted in survival. If most men were lost, a small number could still repopulate, but if most women were lost society itself would be in real danger. I won't pretend I love that reality, but Islam helped me accept it as part of Allah's wisdom, and to submit to that design instead of fighting it. It wasn't easy to swallow - kind of like a bitter pill - but Islam made it easier to accept. The teachings don't deny these tough truths; they acknowledge them. Men have duties in battle while women have exemptions. Polygyny was allowed historically in part because war left many widows and orphans, and surviving men were expected to care for them. What really made the difference for me was finding a community of brothers. Praying together at the masjid changed me. Standing shoulder to shoulder, saying "Allahu Akbar" and answering "Ameen" out loud with everyone, bowing and prostrating to Allah at the same time - that shared experience gives me strength. Their presence makes me feel part of a unit; it feeds my confidence in a way I hadn't felt before. I honestly wouldn't hesitate to stand with them if duty called. If our whole congregation were on a sinking ship, I would do my duty and put the safety of the women and children first. I'd accept that fate and stand with my brothers, offering our final Salah together. I'd rather face Allah and say I chose to fulfill my responsibility than say I ran to save myself and chased a few more moments in this dunya. Just my experience so far, still learning and stumbling along the way, but Alhamdulillah for the guidance.