How Can I Cope with Loneliness Without Numbing My Feelings?
As-salamu alaykum. I’ll be direct. How do you live with being alone without always pushing your feelings down and eventually stopping yourself from reaching out to others? My situation: I’m mostly by myself. People don’t really include me or stick around, and old friendships have drifted apart. Marriage doesn’t seem likely for me right now (I’ve talked about this before). So this loneliness has become my reality, and I’m starting to come to terms with it. What I’m trying to figure out is how to handle this in a healthy, realistic way. The only thing I’ve found that “works” is emotionally distancing: I lower my expectations, hold back positive feelings toward people, and constantly police myself so I don’t get disappointed again. I still try to be respectful, kind, and willing to help my brothers and sisters and people around me, but I do it with the belief that nothing deeper will come of it. It’s a protection mechanism. Acting like this - becoming more robotic, always keeping yourself in check - is exhausting, especially when it’s not who you really are. I don’t want to live like this, but it feels like the only way to avoid getting hurt. I’m not talking about the cold, detached attitude that gets praised online. TL;DR: How do you realistically cope with isolation without constantly suppressing your emotions and without giving up on meaningful connection - while still protecting yourself? This may be my last post. It’s painful to feel like our ummah doesn’t have space for struggles like this, or maybe people just can’t relate. Jazakum Allah khayr for any sincere advice.