Get busy living or get busy dye-ing [STORY]

As-salamu alaykum. Misspelled because I don't know what's allowed. I get my posts removed a lot even when they don't break any rules... Anyway It hit me hard a few days ago, while in my morbid depression, that I had to give myself an ultimatum. I remembered a line from a movie and it somehow matched what I was feeling. There's really no point staying stuck in the middle, and there's a strange peace in deciding for yourself. I've spent years feeling an emptiness I can't explain and being fed up with people. But I also have real reasons to keep going. I was driving and having intrusive thoughts when that line came to me, and it made me see that living in the in-between has made some powerful art and writing. Many talented people didn't exactly love life. The more you understand, sometimes the harder it is to feel satisfied. I think I've found a way to turn my sadness into a small rebellion against life's dullness. Letting go a bit can feel freeing. Recognizing how strange this world is and choosing to take part in it makes me feel alive. The people I admire most seemed to find themselves by doing something similar. Now, in my spare time I try out new things, paying attention to the little details that give life meaning. Learning odd facts, picking up random skills. Simple rule: DO WHAT YOU WANT WITHOUT DELIBERATELY HURTING OTHERS. WE TALK OURSELVES OUT OF GREATNESS TOO EASILY. May Allah guide anyone else who’s feeling low and help them find purpose. Hoping this helps someone climb out of the dumps too.