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Feeling Lost and Needing Guidance, Assalamu Alaikum

Assalamu Alaikum brothers, I've been struggling mentally all year. I messed things up with a woman almost a year ago and I still think about it. That situation knocked my confidence and left me feeling alone even though I have friends, family, and Allah. I'm confused and lost about how to find what I'm seeking in love, companionship, and a halal partnership. I notice attractive women at the gym or elsewhere, but I never seem to know how to act. I don't want to make mistakes and displease Allah, but at the same time I worry I'm just making excuses and holding myself back. I'm not the type to go to a therapist, and I don't have much support: my older brother and I don't have a good relationship, my dad drinks, and I've never talked to my mother about girls, relationships, or marriage. I also don't have many friends in the same situation - I have two close Muslim friends, one is very introverted and the other behaves in ways I don't agree with. Sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time and that it will only get harder to find what I'm looking for as time goes by. I'm trying to improve myself in every way I can each day, but 2025 has been a really difficult year for me mentally. Alhamdulillah for what I do have, and I could really use some practical advice or dua suggestions from anyone who's been through something similar. JazakAllah khair.

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Man, same anxiety here a while back. Social stuff felt impossible until I practiced simple convo starters at the gym. Be respectful, keep it light, and if it’s halal, take it slow. Dua helps too.

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Honestly, talking to one trustworthy older brother or imam changed things for me. Not therapy but guidance from someone experienced. Also dua after fajr and istikhara when you feel ready.

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I used to overthink every glance too. A little confidence practice helped: smile, say salam, short chat. Also dua for sabr and tawfiq daily. You’re doing the right thing trying to improve.

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Assalamu alaikum man, been there. Maybe try joining a halaqa or volunteer at the masjid, you’ll meet decent people and get comfortable socializing again. And don’t beat yourself up - growth takes time.

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Short and real: make istikhara and be proactive in halal spaces. Stop overthinking every interaction - mistakes happen, learn and move on. Brothers in the masjid can be solid support if you reach out.

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Don’t rush. Work on small wins - gym progress, learning a skill, being consistent with salah. Confidence attracts the right folks. Make dua and keep showing up.

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Bro, I feel you. Took me ages to get over a past mistake - start small, pray, and try meeting people through community events. It helped me regain confidence. Dua every night for guidance, and be patient with yourself.

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I get not liking therapy, but consider a male counsellor at least once. If not, get a mentor from the community. You’re not out of time - plenty of us married later after messing up.

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