Feeling like I've quietly given up - please dua for me

Assalamu alaikum. I'm posting this just to get it off my chest and ask for duas. Everything on the outside seems okay, but inside I'm a mess. My heart feels hard compared to before. I've been raising my voice at my parents. I keep falling into sin every day - looking at filthy videos with nasty kinks and even sadistic stuff, and I masturbate daily with barely any guilt. I tell myself I’ll stop, feel miserable, then do it again a few hours later. I have work that will pay well but I can't find the motivation. I stopped praying except for Jum'ah, astaghfirullah. Evil thoughts are entertaining in my head. Sometimes I compare myself to non-Muslims to feel like I'm not so bad, which I know is a weak excuse. I get thoughts about ending my life but I’m not foolish enough to act on them. Fitnah around me makes my mind worse day by day. I've been battling this for about five years. I know I shouldn't give up, but after so long of chasing solutions that seem to run away, I get lowkey exhausted and feel like giving up. My connection with Allah has weakened a lot. Shaytan sometimes whispers to leave the religion, but Alhamdulillah I won’t. When I try to get closer to Allah, the whispers get louder and I end up falling into worse deeds - any progress lasts a day or two and then I slip back into filthy thoughts and actions. If any of you are closer to Allah than me, please make dua for your brother that Allah guides me, forgives me, and purifies my heart.