Facing consequences of my old habits - a personal reminder

Assalamu alaikum. I'm sharing this to remind myself and others that every deed has consequences, as the Quran says, “Whoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it, and whoever does an atom’s weight of evil will see it” (Surah 99:7-8). May Allah guide us and forgive our mistakes. I've loved my spouse for about 12 years, and we've been married for 2 years. We've been through good and bad, and we stuck with each other despite faults and hardships. Our relationship started out the wrong way, and may Allah forgive us for that. We tried to stop and make it halal, and by Allah's mercy we got married sooner than planned after much prayer - a story for another day. For a while things were fine and we both kept to our boundaries. Then I joined an anonymous mental health chat site to help and speak with others. One day a woman there turned the conversation sexual, and I felt a rush - my heart raced and I got that dopamine hit. I had a choice to end it but I continued the chat. That mistake has affected me for about five years and now affects my marriage. Around that time me and my wife were going through a rough patch. We argued a lot and she could be blunt when upset; I heard some harsh things, but I kept trying to learn and grow rather than leave. The woman reached out again and I started talking to a few others in similar ways. They praised my words and wanted to talk more, which fed my need to be liked and desired. Every conversation gave me a strong hit that kept pulling me back. Other temptations followed, like watching online sexual content, and Instagram made it worse. When things were good at home the urge faded, but whenever I felt unwanted or worthless I returned to those chats. I knew it was wrong, I repented sincerely many times, but I kept falling back into the habit. Before our nikah I had stopped visiting the site for months, but as the wedding approached the waswas of Shaytan intensified and I slipped back. A month before the wedding I was overwhelmed with guilt and ashamed, and I resolved to repent sincerely. Alhamdulillah we married and for a while things improved. Then old habits crept back in: too much Instagram and falling into the same pattern of sexual conversations. I got drawn back into the old website, felt temporary pleasure, then guilty again, repeated the cycle. Because my mind and body had learned to get pleasure from screens and words, real intimacy suffered. My desire for my wife declined and I started relying on those old habits. She sensed my distance; I lied and blamed stress. It got to the point I had to imagine those past conversations or images to be intimate, Astaghfirullah. I hated emotionally betraying her. Since then I've resolved to change again, sincerely hoping this time it lasts. I don't want to cheat her emotionally or transgress Allah's limits. May Allah make it easy for me and others. I'm confessing not to show off sins but to show their effects on us and on loved ones. Shaytan is clever - he nudges us a little at first, and that small deviation becomes large before we notice. Lessons I've learned, for unmarried and married men and women: 1. When you first get the chance to cross a boundary, that's the best moment to stop. It will be hard but it saves you huge future pain. 2. Every action has lasting consequences-good and bad. 3. Islam offers practical protection: lower your gaze and guard your modesty, and you can avoid much trouble. 4. The quick thrill from betraying your soul and loved ones can't compare to the contentment of staying on the right path. I've felt both, and halal pleasure is more fulfilling. 5. If you've already crossed a line, repent immediately and don't go back. The urges will be strong, but trust that doing what's right is better. Insha Allah we all strive to leave what is wrong and hold fast to what is right. May Allah protect and forgive us all.