Dealing with my patchy beard growth

Assalamu alaikum everyone. I'm a university student and I could really use some advice. About a year back, I learned that completely shaving the beard is haram. I understand there are different opinions about the length - some scholars say you shouldn't trim it at all, while others say it's okay to trim what's below a fist length. The main thing is we should grow our beards and trim our mustaches, following the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). My problem is that I'm young and my beard grows really unevenly. It comes in on my chin and jaw, but I have almost nothing on my cheeks. My sideburns are thicker, so when I try to grow it out, it just looks messy and untidy. I used to shave completely because it gave me a cleaner look, but now I know that's not right. But letting it grow affects my confidence since it doesn't look good. I've been going back and forth in my mind for a month now. Part of me thinks I should just shave and focus on more important obligations, asking Allah for forgiveness. Another part thinks I should keep it trimmed short, maybe just stubble. Or maybe just grow a goatee until I can grow a full beard. But then I worry - what if these are still sins? It's really affecting me mentally. Sometimes I think it's just my age and I need to be patient. But scholars say to leave it as it is, even if it doesn't look great. I'm so confused and it's taking a toll on me. Any guidance would be appreciated. JazakAllah khair.