Brothers, Don’t Use “Humility” to Cover Insecurity

As-salamu alaykum brothers - I’ve been seeing a trend among some Muslim men lately where “humility” is used as a cover for being directionless or insecure. Guys shrinking themselves, acting meek, lowering their presence-not because they’re truly grounded, but because they don’t have much going on. It feels almost emasculating. Humility shouldn’t be a mask you hide behind; when it’s just hiding weakness, it isn’t humility at all. It’s the same hollow thing as the man who puts on bravado, talks loud, acts tough, and has nothing real beneath it. Two sides of the same coin. I know this because I used to be that weak version of myself. When I had bad habits, no discipline, and little confidence, “being humble” was just me trying to make myself as small as possible. It wasn’t a virtue-it was insecurity. When you’re not doing much, humility becomes a costume that makes you smaller. There’s no ego to restrain, no strength to manage-just fear pretending to be modesty. Humility only started to make sense to me after I actually worked on myself. When I built discipline, started taking care of my body, and made real progress. When people began to notice me and look up to me. That attention inflated me at first. Then humility became a real skill: holding yourself back even when you have reasons not to. Keeping your ego in check when praise comes. Not getting carried away by attention. Being the “big fish in a small pond” is its own trial. Weak men bask in that feeling. True humility is the opposite: even if you’re the big fish, you stay grounded. You remember there’s always room to improve, and that strength brings responsibility, not entitlement. Humility becomes a conscious choice, not a fallback. This is what humility really is: being strong, capable, and confident, and choosing restraint when you could show off or dominate. Weak men don’t choose humility-they slump into it because they don’t have any other option. Islam doesn’t ask us to be weak. The Prophet ﷺ said: “The strong believer is more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, though both are good.” (Sahih Muslim 2664). True humility, then, isn’t lacking power-it’s exercising restraint despite having it.