Assalamualaikum - How should I proceed with this?
Assalamualaikum. I met a sister earlier this year and most of our conversations have been about Islam. I don't know everything about her, but from the little we've shared she seems to have strong imaan and good akhlaq. She's exactly what I feel I need. Wallahi, the first time I saw her I felt humble and drew closer to Allah swt like never before. Since then I've become consistent with tahajjud and fajr, stopped listening to music, increased my dhikr, lowered my gaze more than before, tried to be more respectful and obedient, my tawakkul has improved, I'm reading more Qur'an with more khushu in salah, and overall my bond with Allah has gotten stronger. I'm grateful to my Rabb for bringing her into my life when I felt the world was full of problems - Allah swt showed me light through her. She's beautiful, pure, mature and strong. I'm just me - what I have to offer is my imaan, good manners, love and serious determination to improve in every area. I'm 19 and she is at least a couple of years older than me. I keep getting waswasas: why would she ever marry someone like me? I feel I don't have much to offer, I'm not handsome or especially smart, and I have personal issues to work on. Wallahi I'm ready to give my all for the next two years - physically, mentally, financially and spiritually. I've been waking for tahajjud every day, crying and repenting, striving to become worthy so I can carry such a blessing and get married. I make lots of dua and have tawakkul. I want to handle this in the most appropriate, halal way, but these whispers of doubt keep bothering me. Please advise me: how should I proceed, what steps should I take to approach this matter properly and with tawakkul? JazakAllah khair.