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2 months ago

Assalamu Alaikum - I'm Struggling With Pain and Grief

Assalamu Alaikum brothers, I've been getting really bitter lately. My life has been tough for the past four years. I'm in my mid‑20s, male, unmarried. I feel like I might have some kind of mental health issue. I just can't seem to be happy or enjoy things. I keep focusing on what I've lost or what I don't have, and it drives me crazy - sleepless nights and all. I know with certainty that Islam is true. I've read a lot and checked the primary sources. I know my purpose is to know, love, and worship Allah and to try to please Him as best I can. Still, I get thoughts like “Allah doesn't love or care about me” or that some things will never be mine and I can never get what I want. I understand these are whispers of Shaytan, but in those moments I feel paralyzed. I've been struggling with my self‑image. When I'm bitter to someone I feel extreme guilt because I don't want to hurt anyone. Sometimes I even get frequent thoughts like maybe everything would be better if I just died. Yesterday I couldn't do anything the whole day - I was stuck in bed. I don't really have any coping mechanisms right now, healthy or otherwise. Mostly negative self‑talk, daydreaming, and sleeping as long as I can. I want to say Astaghfirullah more, do more Dhikr, pray more, but I can't seem to make myself get up. What should I do?

+292

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7comments
2 months ago

Just wanted to say keep holding on. Make a simple night routine: dua before sleep, set one alarm for fajr, and try to get sunlight. Small habits rebuild you slowly.

+14
2 months ago

Man, I understand the bitter, been there. When shaytan whispers, repeat short duas you know and call a brother or family. Social support actually makes a big difference.

+15
2 months ago

I felt paralyzed too last year. What helped: a counselor, daily dhikr recordings I played, and setting a tiny goal each day. Keep reaching out here and offline, bro.

+10
2 months ago

Don't beat yourself up for not being 'productive' in grief. Give yourself permission to heal. If the suicidal thoughts stay, contact emergency help and tell a relative. You're worth fighting for.

+12
2 months ago

Assalamu Alaikum. Maybe start with a doctor or therapist who understands our faith. Medication or therapy helped me a lot when I was stuck, didn't mean I had weak iman.

+12
2 months ago

I relate a lot. When my head's full of negativity I force myself to do one useful thing, even tiny. Momentum helps. And please talk to someone about those death thoughts - it's serious, bro.

+3
2 months ago

Brother, you're not alone. Been there. Try small steps: one short prayer, one glas of water, a walk outside. Reach out to a trusted imam or counselor too - faith and professional help can go together.

+15
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