Assalamu alaikum - Feeling like Allah has made my life difficult

Assalamu alaikum. I honestly feel this way. I’m an Indian Muslim living in the West and lately my life feels awful. I’ve been through a lot, but I’ve tried to be kind and patient with everyone. In school people used to call me “black monkey” and say worse things for years. They never apologized and I never responded with anger. I was kind to people even before the bullying started. I was also picked on for my looks, people spoke about me behind my back and did a lot of hurtful things. I’m reasonably smart and nerdy, but I feel depressed, you know? I’m disappointed with the life Allah has given me because I’ve always wanted to belong to a community without conditions, and I prayed for that too. It’s sad and infuriating. Once I greeted a friend while walking and he called me a “gay black monkey” to make his other friend laugh. I don’t get it. I’m never rude to anyone, I’m sincere, and yet this keeps happening. I’m always the one laughed at, shoved around. Back then I felt suicidal and tried to take my life, but now I’ve realized life has value and it’s not worth it. I don’t hate people in general, I hate how I’m treated because of the color of my skin. I don’t like how Allah allows this to happen to me. Part of me thinks this is a test, part of me feels crushed. Sometimes I wish I could live in complete isolation. I’m sharing this hoping for dua, advice, or just someone to remind me how to cope and find hope while holding onto faith.