Asking for Help After Sexual Abuse and Ongoing Harassment - Please Dua for Me
Assalamu alaykum, I'll keep this short because I need advice fast. On my first day of college a male white teacher was shoved and had his trousers pulled down, and the person who did it blamed me. Since then he has targeted me - spreading lies, trying to get me expelled, and doing other terrible things. The worst is that he arranged for a female teacher to sexually assault me, knowing I was saving myself as a Muslim. Because of his money and influence, he covered it up and silenced people. After college I worked nights in a warehouse. Later a recruitment office called me about a job; I regret taking it. At that workplace they spread rumours about me, harassed me, and a female coworker sexually assaulted me. I later learned the same male teacher from college was behind it - his brother owned the business. My mental health is shattered. I’m in therapy but I’ve been thinking about suicide. I know it’s against my faith, so I find myself praying for Judgment Day instead. I feel used and disgusted - he even said that when he offered me drinks he had rubbed himself on my cup. The thought of dying has been keeping me going because I’m barely eating or drinking. I don’t know what to do. I resent everyone who knew I was struggling but did nothing, and who dismissed me because of their views on a Black man - told me to “man up,” “suck it up,” or even “that’s what you get for messing with a white man,” as if I started this. Please, if anyone can offer guidance: how do I seek justice while keeping my faith? How can I heal from this and find strength? Dua would mean a lot. JazakAllahu khair.