As-salamu alaykum - Feeling torn about my hijab

As-salamu alaykum, I need to get this out. I don't think most people who talk about taking off their hijab are in the same situation as me. I've always admired my mum in her hijab. I begged her for one when I was about six because I wanted to look like her. I first wore it at ten and it was my choice - me and a friend decided we wanted to wear it, told our parents, and started wearing it together one Monday. I was never forced. I've always liked dressing modestly and loved my hijab, but lately I'm struggling. Around year 8 I felt a bit ugly sometimes but I was still confident and funny and didn't worry. In year 9 I started obsessing over every little thing I do and I wanted to be seen as pretty, not just the silly girl who makes everyone laugh. It doesn't help that I hardly go out because I don't have many clothes that fit how I want to present myself. The few things I own are immodest, and wearing them with my hijab feels uncomfortable to me. Sometimes I just want to give up and take it off because I feel so pretty without it, and then later I feel ugly without it. People might say I could just let my hair down at home to feel pretty, but I literally can't. I have 3b–c hair and if I style it like usual and then put a hijab on, when I come home my hair is matted, so I always have to braid it. Braids don't make me feel pretty either. So basically I want to remove my hijab to feel attractive, but I also feel weird about that because it's a big part of who I am. I want to look like the other girls sometimes. I don't know what to do - I keep making dua and hoping Allah guides me, but it's confusing and lonely.