As-salamu alaikum - Need Advice After Learning Some Family Truths

As-salamu alaikum, I don't really know where to turn, but I need to share this and get some guidance. Lately my biggest, most painful wish has been that my brother and I had died as toddlers. I'm not suicidal, but I keep thinking life would be kinder if we hadn't lived through what we did. Sometimes I even wish we could just be relieved from this world soon so we don't have to keep suffering. A hadith that stuck with me is from Bukhari about a father who favored one child and the Prophet (ﷺ) admonishing him to be just. That idea of fairness has been on my mind a lot. Alhamdulillah, on paper my life is going very well. But my brother is struggling. For years I felt anger toward him, thinking he was lazy and that’s why he’s falling behind. Today my mother finally admitted that much of it was actually our parents' fault. It's a long story, but compared to his peers his path has gone downhill because of things that happened growing up. For example, in his first year studying abroad my mother booked flights home earlier even though he said he couldn’t leave because of school. He missed an exam and had to change programs; the Dutch system meant restarting a year so he moved into an online bachelor's in the US. Another time my parents forced him to go back home where there was no wifi, and because he was taking online classes he couldn't do his work. My mother later told me how he woke up early, slammed his phone out of frustration, looked pale and cried because he thought he would fail. My mother brushed it off as “just a small part of the grade.” He passed, but his grades and his online program are what made me explode when I heard this. I used to blame him completely. Hearing this made my anger flip toward my parents - how could they gamble with his future just so they could be together or have him home? It feels incredibly selfish. When I confronted my mother, I lost my temper. I swore in my language, told her our lives would’ve been better if we’d died young, and said we were born into the worst possible family. Our parents fought so much that my brother and I would cry and hide at neighbors'. Seeing other relatives with peaceful homes made our situation feel unbearably unfair. Why the hadith again? Because my parents did give me many chances - I’m at a top university, building a startup, and have good job prospects - while my brother has been left barely getting by. I know others have it worse, but knowing what we were each given and how differently we were treated fuels my hurt and rage. I don't really know what I want-maybe someone to talk to, some advice on how to cope, how to deal with my anger toward my parents, and how to support my brother without letting these feelings destroy me. I want to respond in a way that’s in line with my faith and with kindness, but I’m struggling. Jazakallah khair for reading.