Am I Losing My Faith in a Time of Trial?

Assalamu alaikum, I’ve been carrying a heavy weight of pain lately and it’s grown so much that I feel isolated, as if I can't sense Allah's presence anymore. I’ve lost people dear to me, faced many failures in life, and lately, I’ve even thought about ending things. As a revert, I’ve been praying my daily Salah consistently for over a year now, but I’m struggling: if someone were to take that dark path, does it mean they’ve become a disbeliever? Like, if I felt that way, would it mean I stopped trusting that Allah provides or has mercy? Or does thinking this way already signal that I believe Allah has abandoned me or won’t make things better? Jazakallah khair for any advice-barakallahu feek.