After so many setbacks, I'm losing faith

As-salamu alaykum - I grew up with a lot of instability: moving all the time, losing friends, always feeling out of place. Religion was something pushed on me as a kid, so I never really connected with it back then. Later on I chose to come back to Islam properly. I made sincere duas, went for Umrah, and even cut off the longer hair I liked about myself for the sake of Allah. I avoided haram relationships and held out hoping Allah would grant me something better in a halal way, maybe a righteous husband one day. I worked hard - my studies, learning skills, trying to build a side business - all to become independent from my parents and to start my own life with confidence. But it feels like everything keeps slamming shut. Employers ghost me. A small business I had some success with collapsed suddenly. Doors would open for a moment and then shut twice as hard. It’s not like nothing ever worked out; sometimes a dua was answered. But the chances that could’ve truly changed my life... those never seemed to come through. When I couldn’t see my efforts or my sacrifices pay off where it mattered most, I began to doubt myself and even my salah. I hit a low I never imagined. I did things I swore I wouldn’t do - not because I wanted to, but because I was so disappointed and hurt by life. I know Allah tests those He loves and I know patience is required, but how do I keep being patient when my patience landed me in humiliation? My prayers aren’t what they used to be; often they feel mechanical, part of a cycle. I pray when I can or when I feel like it, because I’ve seen myself at my best and at my worst and it ended up the same. Has anyone else felt this way? Jazakum Allah khair for reading.