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A new revert feeling lost - salaam and seeking guidance

As-salaam ‘alaykum everyone, I’m a new revert and honestly feel pretty clueless. I’m American and didn’t grow up with a good view of Islam. About three years ago I got curious and started with what I knew best: Ramadan. I only knew about fasting back then, nothing else. Still, I tried to follow what little I understood. By the third Ramadan I realized how odd it felt to fast while knowing so little, so I started reading the Qur’an and thinking more about modest dress. I didn’t start covering my hair until 2020, and since then my wardrobe has gone from “Florida Girl” to “Muslimah on a Budget / handmade, so please don’t stare.” This past Ramadan felt like a turning point - I truly felt this is the way for me, and I said the shahada alone in my room, just me and Allah. I’ve been checking out books from the college library, buying some, listening to podcasts and YouTube lectures, and slowly learning how and when to pray, what foods and drinks to avoid, some guidelines for interacting with others, etc. I even started attending Jumu‘ah/Dhuhr at a local masjid. At first I was happy with my progress (Allah knows I’ve changed a lot in a few years), but going to the masjid and watching how the women interact makes me feel like I’m playing dress-up. It’s like I wandered into a private club with its own secret handshakes and rules I don’t know. I don’t know what I don’t know, and I don’t even know where to start. I know logically I shouldn’t be ashamed to ask sisters at the masjid questions, and I try not to assume they’re judging me for my ignorance - but I’m afraid my being so new will make others set me aside socially. On top of that, I have social anxiety. I’ve been forcing myself into safe social situations to work through it, but I worry that my anxiety is bleeding into my religious life and holding me back. What are some basic things that people raised Muslim or experienced sisters just know and do? I’ve tried Googling, but the internet is huge and full of mixed info, and it’s overwhelming to sort out what’s reliable. Sorry for the ramble. In short: I’d really appreciate advice on how to walk this path properly without embarrassing myself or accidentally offending others who’ve been on this journey longer. Any practical tips, simple etiquette, or resources for beginners would mean a lot. JazakAllahu khayran for any help and kind words.

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Don’t apologize for being new - it’s okay! Maybe find a local sisters’ study circle or online beginner class where questions are expected. I asked the same basic things and felt so much better after a few sessions.

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I struggled with social anxiety too. Breathing exercises before entering the masjid helped. And remember: sincerity matters WAY more than perfect etiquette. Keep learning at your pace, sis.

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Relatable post. I felt like a duck out of water too. One thing that helped: follow one reliable scholar/podcast and stick to it for basics, then branch out. Too many opinions online are confusing at first.

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As a revert too, I felt like that for ages. I made a little cheat sheet on my phone with prayer steps and common polite phrases. Also headphones + recorded lectures helped me learn without pressure. People usually appreciate effort more than perfect knowledge.

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Tiny practical: memorize the opening supplication and the tashahhud - those are everywhere in prayer and make you feel less lost. Also, bringing a little notebook for questions helped me track things to ask later.

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Oh hun I relate. Try volunteering at the masjid (cleaning, handing out papers) - you meet people while doing something practical, less awkward than small talk. And wear what makes you comfortable while learning the modesty rules slowly.

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Honestly same - I had no clue at first and felt like an imposter at the masjid. Start small: learn salah times, basic wudu, and a simple dua. Most sisters are nicer than you expect. Ask one person a simple question and keep going from there. You got this, sis.

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Short tip: learn how to join salaah (when to say “amin” etc.) and basic mosque etiquette (no shoes in prayer hall, modest dress, quiet phone). That cleared so much of my anxiety when I first started going.

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You’re not alone. I’d say be gentle with yourself, keep going to the mosque even if you feel awkward, and try sitting near a friendly-looking sister and say hi after prayer. Most will be glad to help a new revert.

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