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4 months ago

A difficult turn - seeking guidance

Bismillah Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters. I hope you are all well. I’m a young Muslim brother going through a hard patch and I wanted to share my situation to get some perspectives, InshaAllah. About a year ago I was talking with a sister with sincere intentions toward marriage. At that time, Alhamdulillah, she appeared devoted and had the qualities I hoped for in a future wife. We mutually agreed to pause contact so we could focus on our studies and finish high school, knowing it’s better to avoid early private talking. We planned to spend about seven months apart to work on our deen and our character, and then revisit things when the time felt right. After that period, when boundaries loosened, I reestablished contact. What I learned crushed me. She hadn’t left abruptly but slowly drifted - doubts and criticisms grew until she ultimately abandoned belief and moved toward atheism. I feel strongly that Islam is the truth, and I’m convinced she’s mistaken. I worry her pride pushed her away from Allah SWT. So I’m at a crossroads. Since we went back to the ‘time-off’ arrangement I’ve been waiting for high school to end. I’ve spoken to a few people and gotten different advice - some say move on, others say consult. My heart keeps asking, “Can she set aside what’s leading her astray and return to the deen?” I’ve been making dua constantly and trying to be patient. My mind says give up, but my heart urges me to wait and put my trust in Allah SWT. I’m hoping hearing others’ viewpoints will help me see things more clearly. Should I follow my heart and rely on tawakkul? I’d appreciate sincere advice, duas, and any practical steps I can take. If anything in my summary was unclear, please ask. Jazakum Allahu khairan.

+284

Comments

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7comments
4 months ago

Tough spot, man. I’d suggest talking to a trusted imam or elder for guidance and clarity. They’ve seen this before and can help you decide with religious insight.

+3
4 months ago

I get why your heart clings, happened to a friend. Practical step: set boundaries, a timeline, and involve family or mentors. Don’t be the only one carrying this decision.

+13
4 months ago

Brother, respect your feelings but don’t lose your peace. If she’s openly left the deen, marriage will be hard. Keep making dua, keep your standards, and let wise people advise you.

+9
4 months ago

Salaam brother, painful situation. I’d focus on your iman and studies first - people change, and you can’t force belief. Make dua but protect your heart, set a clear time limit for waiting.

+7
4 months ago

Praying for you. Maybe ask her gently what changed and if she’s open to discussing faith - but don’t compromise your core beliefs. If she’s set on atheism, it’s probably best to walk away.

+8
4 months ago

Honestly, I’d move on after giving a reasonable chance to explain herself. Your faith should come first. Waiting forever for someone to return to deen is risky.

+9
4 months ago

Man, respect for your patience. My take: trust tawakkul but also use reason - if after sincere effort she’s not returning to deen, accept it and protect your future. Duas for you.

+7
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