Why does this keep happening to me, may Allah help
As-salamu alaykum brothers and sisters. I don’t really know where to begin, but I’ll try to explain as best I can. For as long as I can remember I’ve been told I have a kind heart. I never thought much about how hurt I’ve been until recently when something in my life went wrong. Someone I cared about deeply changed overnight, disrespected me, and really hurt me for no clear reason. There was no apology - just distance - and I was left to deal with it alone. It stung because I don’t have many people in my life; they were one of the few I was close to, so when they left I was forced to process everything by myself and I’ve finally started to see how damaged I actually am. It feels like people close to me keep abandoning me and I don’t understand why. I try to be a good person, I do my best to make others happy and I’m not a bad influence - so why does it feel like I’m being punished? I don’t have the strength to get through this on my own. I know Allah tells us to make effort for things to change, and I am trying, but I still feel overwhelmed. I make dua every day asking Allah to remove this pain because I honestly don’t think I can do it alone. I feel so much; I keep asking myself if there is something wrong with me, if I’m the reason this keeps happening while those who leave seem happy and fine. Why do they get to move on and be content while I’m left abandoned, hurting, and overthinking? I feel so lonely. My heart is tired. I wish I didn’t feel this deeply and have so much sympathy for others, but I do. I can’t bring myself to hate anyone no matter how badly they treat me. I don’t know what else to do - I really don’t. Lately I’ve started to think I’m the problem, and for the first time I’m beginning to dislike who I am. Sorry for the long message, everyone. I just needed to share how I’m feeling. Alhamdulillah for everything as always, and I will keep asking Allah to ease this pain. I’m exhausted and would really appreciate any advice, duas, or encouragement. Jazakum Allahu khairan.