Trying to Become a Better Muslim, Son, and Brother

Assalamu alaikum, I don’t want to complain, but I’m seeking advice and support. Growing up, my family situation made me isolate myself. My upbringing wasn’t perfect, but alhamdulillah, my mother did her best to help my siblings and me survive and build our futures. It came at some cost to my personal growth, which I started noticing as an adult. I haven’t been a good son or brother-I was withdrawn and hardly part of their lives. I held onto a grudge for years, and it’s cost me a lot. I’ve made foolish mistakes. I always tried to be decent, but I fell into sin with women. I had a semi-relationship with a colleague that ended suddenly, and it hurt deeply. I embarrassed myself as a man. I took medical leave from that workplace, and now I don’t know if I can return. People know my affairs, and my reputation and deen were affected. I want to do better, but I’m not sure I can do it there. My health has suffered-I’m dealing with chronic physical and mental issues. Should I leave this job without another one lined up? Should I go back despite my changed appearance and risk further embarrassment? I don’t know. I’ve even stressed my mother and family with my personal troubles-work, health-and lost their respect. They pity me now. I don’t know what to do. This toxic job and my awful decisions are destroying my life. Any advice would be appreciated. Jazakum Allahu khayran.