Struggling with self-image again
Assalamu alaikum everyone. I've struggled with body image for as long as I can remember. I've never truly felt beautiful; maybe in 4th grade, and now I'm a senior. This year, it got so bad that I felt unworthy of joy or life's pleasures because of my looks. I couldn't look in the mirror and spent days crying, imagining how different life would be if I were pretty like other girls. Through dhikr and constant prayer, I started accepting my appearance, and it brought me peace-I felt normal again. I reminded myself this is a test from Allah, and even if I'm not beautiful in this life, insha'Allah the Hereafter will be better; Allah's love isn't based on my looks. But today, my English teacher told some classmates about my struggles and basically called me ugly. She knew how hard this year was-my mom even called her, venting, which I hated. Those classmates aren't kind; they made fun of me, criticized my appearance, and taunted a friend by saying she looked like me. I broke down crying, but alhamdulillah they didn't see. I know appearance isn't everything, but the distress and anxiety are back. If not for my teacher, this wouldn't have happened, but it's Allah's will. I don't know what to do; I'm crying again and feeling so sad. I keep praying, knowing Allah will hold them accountable, but it feels heavy. Sorry for my English; it's not my first language.