Navigating Unwritten Rules: The 'Uncle' and 'Aunt' Dilemma in Our Community

Salam everyone. One of the trickiest things about being a practicing Muslim in a place like Pakistan, especially when your own family isn't as strict about the Deen, is how everyone suddenly becomes your 'uncle' or 'aunt.' You're expected to treat distant relatives and even family friends as mahrams, which can get really confusing and uncomfortable. For example, my mother's old boss from when I was little is called my 'chacha' (paternal uncle), and his wife is my 'chachi.' Even though he's not really in our lives anymore, his wife is still around as a family friend, and I'm supposed to interact with her like she's a mahram. But even if she were my real uncle's wife, she wouldn't be! It took me a lot of courage to start politely keeping my distance and avoiding hugs or handshakes. Then there's the housemaid who's been with us since I was a kid. She's only seven years older than me (yes, child labor is a sad reality here-she started when she was around 13). My whole family calls her my sister, and she calls me her brother. It feels so awkward and forced, honestly. My grandmother's sister is treated just like another grandmother-no distinction at all. I'm expected to be all touchy and hug her, and if I hesitate, they say, 'But she's your grandma!' Same goes for my parents' female cousins; they're called my 'khala' or 'phuppo' (maternal and paternal aunts), and if I resist physical contact, they claim they're my mahram. Once, my late uncle's wife even said, 'I'm kind of like your mahram.' What does that even mean? It's a constant struggle between respecting family ties and maintaining proper Islamic boundaries. Anyone else deal with this? May Allah guide us all to what's right.