sister
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Frustration towards Grandma

Assalamualaikum! I know the title sounds really bad, but please hear me out. I love my grandma to bits, no doubt about it. Grandma doesn’t live with us all the time-she visits, and I’m the only one who shares my room with her. It’s not that our house is small, we have enough space, but she feels comfortable with me, so she stays in my room. I genuinely like that. She’s with us for around two or three months at a time. But she has hearing issues and mild dementia (Alhamdulillah it’s not severe), and she has this habit of touching and moving everything. Like, literally everything. I’ve emptied my bedside drawer, cleared my bathroom, and moved all my daily things-hair ties, brush, even my personal clothing-from where I keep them (and trust me, they weren’t easy for her to reach). She took my smart watch, and I had to get a new phone charger because she put a wet towel on it and it stopped working. I can’t find the stuff I use every day. I can’t lock my room because it’s her room too, and if I do, she bangs on the door like she’s going to break it down. That’s not everything, but you get the idea. I get frustrated over these small things. Each one alone is nothing, but all together they really pile up. I feel like I have no privacy, and of course I can’t say anything to her because I know she can’t help it-she forgets and can’t control herself. I love her and I never want her to feel unwelcome or unwanted, because she never is. My question is: am I wrong for feeling this way? Would Allah dislike this? Should I change my heart? Please know I’ve never shown her my frustration and I never will, but am I allowed to feel like this? Please help-it’s eating me up inside.

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sister
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Sis, your feelings are valid-caring for elders is hard. Allah sees your patience. Maybe get her a fidget toy so she fiddles with that instead of your stuff?

sister
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I went through something similar with my mum. It’s okay to vent, you’re human. Try keeping a small locked box for your essentials-I did that and it helped.

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