Finding My Faith Again: A Struggling Heart’s Cry

Assalamu alaikum everyone, I know this might be an unusual share here, but I’m looking for some sincere advice. A few years ago, my belief in Islam faded away, and since then I’ve been keeping up a front with my family, acting like I’m still practicing. I pray all five prayers, but my heart feels empty-I just go through the motions without any connection. Recently, I went for Umrah with my family, and that was the closest I’ve come to believing again in a long while. But mostly, I was overcome with guilt. I saw people from all walks of life making huge sacrifices just to be there once, and there I was, blessed with such ease, yet not a true believer in my heart. I’m asking how to start believing again because I’ve never had the nerve to open up to my family. They’re kind people, but they’re deeply religious, and I’m scared they won’t understand where I’m coming from. If I tell my mother I don’t believe in Allah anymore, it would shatter her heart-and honestly, she’s the only reason I haven’t walked away completely. I’m afraid they’ll try too hard to “fix” me and end up pushing me further away. Things I’ve tried so far: - Listening to Islamic lectures when I can. - Reading a clear translation of the Quran from cover to cover. - Going to mosque events and trying to be more active in the community. I’m sorry if this sounds messy. I’m writing this with tears in my eyes and a storm of emotions inside. If anyone has ever been through something similar, I’d really appreciate your advice. Jazakum Allahu khairan for reading.