brother
Auto-translated

Feeling Alone and Depressed

Assalamu alaikum. I'm a young guy who feels like he has no real connection with anyone, not even his own family. I recently didn't pass the medical college entrance exam, which I need to get into a government medical college. Now I have to study for another year. Because of my failure, my mother has been really cold and harsh with me. She was already verbally abusive before, but now it's gotten worse. I try my best not to react. Alhamdulillah, I have my own room, but even when she walks by, the look she gives me is hard to bear. I study hard and do my best, and I even got good marks in my tests, but that's still not enough to make her happy or soften her heart. Then there's my little brother. He hates me and thinks I'm disgusting for no reason at all. He doesn't even like me touching him, let alone hugging him. And then there's my father. We have different views and don't always agree. It's not that I hate him-I don't hate anyone in my family. It's just that if I tell him about my problems, he'll say to pray voluntary prayers, pray qiyam al-layl, pray tahajjud, read Quran, and then I won't feel lonely or depressed. But that doesn't really help solve my problems. Humans are social beings; we need genuine connection, love, interaction, and real communication. I try my best to pray all five daily prayers and stay away from major sins. I fast during Ramadan and never let my studies stop me from fasting. I try to follow the Quran and Sunnah with the correct aqeedah, but tell me honestly: is more worship, more prayer, more Quran reading really the solution? I have to study for ten hours or more every day, so I can't find time to pray that much extra. I have no Muslim friends-really no friends at all, none, zero. Not even at my institute. I'm surrounded only by non-Muslims. I've had suicidal thoughts many times, but the fear of hellfire stops me, and honestly, I don't want to die such a pathetic and meaningless death.

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

brother
Auto-translated

I feel this deep. Sometimes family doesn't understand mental health. But keep praying, keep grinding. You'll pass next year inshaAllah.

Add a new comment

Log in to leave a comment