Don't read this if your faith feels shaky. I’m so lost

Assalamu alaikum everyone. Lately I’ve been having these involuntary reactions when thinking about the afterlife, the Quran, or during salah-mostly sighing or heavy breathing through my nose-and sometimes I even feel irritated. I catch myself right away but it’s been happening for a month now. I cry every single day. It feels like I’m barely holding on, like I’m about to sink. I’m scared I’ll break down completely. I deal with mental health struggles, and even my iman is suffering. My thoughts are just all over the place nonstop. When I make tawbah, I keep remembering what Allah said to the people of hell when He turned away from their desperate cries-verse 23:108-and then I start sobbing. I committed a sin once, but immediately after, I realized what I’d done and felt terrified. I don’t have the motivation, but I still pray. When I pray, though, I feel like I’m missing khushu. There’s no balance in my worship. One moment I feel like today might be the day of change, then dread hits, or sometimes overwhelming love, but I keep losing sight of Whom I’m standing before. On one hand, I know Allah SWT leaves no stone unturned so I can meet Him, but I feel like I’m the one turning those stones back over. Maybe this is a test of trusting Him. If it is, I’m failing badly. How do you let go and trust Him when everything seems stacked against you? When your mind tells you you’re sinking deeper and there’s no way out. Because it looks like He’s putting more on me than I can handle. I don’t know how to move forward. I don’t know what to do.