Carrying Heavy Guilt About My Past
Assalamu alaikum. Alhamdulillah, my life has changed so much for the better, way beyond anything I thought was possible when I was small. But when I look back now, I can't shake the feeling that I'm a fake. I got into good schools, but at times I crossed lines with my studies and broke the rules. Tonight I had another test, and now I'm just lying here unable to fall asleep. I keep thinking I'm a fraud who stole a spot from someone more deserving. And honestly, the thought of ever being found out terrifies me. Everything could fall apart and I'd disappoint every single person who ever supported me. They don't deserve that either. I know I can't undo what's done or change the past, but what can I do now? I barely feel like I belong here. I know Allah is always ready to forgive if I truly repent, but I can't even bring myself to ask for His mercy because my mistakes feel so clear and heavy. What should I do…