Brothers, I’m Confused - How Do I Choose the Right Path as I Near 30?
Assalamu alaikum brothers - I’m honestly torn right now and could use some honest advice. The last decade feels like it slipped by without me really living. I spent most of my 20s stressed about career choices, where to live, who I should become. Now that I’m close to 30, it’s all hitting me at once and I still don’t know which direction to take. Part of me wants to move to a bigger city, enjoy a more lively phase while I’m still young, chase opportunities, meet people, go out, have fun. I miss the energy from university days when we used to hang out without heavy responsibilities. Deep down I feel suited to that life. But the other part keeps saying: “Brother, you’re almost 30 - shouldn’t you be thinking about settling down?” Maybe I should live somewhere calmer, nearer family, get serious about finding a wife, and focus on building a stable home and deen-centered family life. The trouble is both paths seem reasonable. I read once: “Any choice is better than no choice,” but I’m scared I’ll pick one and regret not taking the other. If I choose the city/fun route, I worry I’ll wake up at 35 or 40 thinking, “I wasted years, no family, no stability.” If I settle now, I can imagine being 35 and wondering, “Why didn’t I enjoy my younger years more before committing?” This indecision isn’t just about where to live or dating - it affects finances (save vs enjoy, start a business vs stable job), family (stay close vs build elsewhere), friends, hobbies… same loop. For the past few years I’ve been in a kind of paralysis, trying to “figure it out” and ending up not really living. I overthink every decision and feel stuck. Brothers, I’m lost. I don’t know the right path or how to pick one without feeling like I’m ruining my future. Any practical, faith-minded advice or perspectives you can share would mean a lot. Jazakum Allah khair.