Am I wrong to not want to go to Pakistan?

As-salamu alaykum - I'm unsure if I'm in the wrong here from an Islamic point of view, and it's been weighing on me so I wanted an outside perspective (not just family, who have been leaning on emotional pressure). Short version: my family wants me to travel to Pakistan with them because my older cousin is getting married and my grandmother is quite unwell. They keep saying it could be the last chance to see her. The last time we went was two years ago for another wedding. I've been unemployed for a few years and it's taken a real toll on my mental health. I'm burned out, confused about my future, and honestly just don't have the energy to be around relatives and answer the same questions about why I don't have a job yet. It's not just about money - I feel like my career hasn't started, the IT job market is rough, and I'm probably depressed. I don't want to leave my room right now, let alone sit through family gatherings where I'll feel worse. I told them I'd go if I get a job before the trip, but otherwise I don't want to go. My family are upset, and they're saying how horrible it would be if my grandmother passed and I wasn't there. I'm worried I'd be blamed and feel guilty, and that makes me question whether refusing to go is sinful. I welcome any advice on balancing family obligations with my mental health and personal struggle. Is it sinful to stay behind when I'm honestly not in a state to travel or face that pressure? I'm sorry for the vent and Jazakallah khair for any help.