A Single Guideline in Islam That Leaves Me Feeling Lost
As-Salamu Alaikum everyone, I grew up in a Western country with a relaxed approach to Islam: prayers were missed, non-halal food was common, and pilgrimage wasn't a family priority. The main lesson was simply to be a good person. To keep it brief, I've since deepened my faith-now praying regularly, eating halal, and hoping to perform Hajj someday, insha'Allah. Adapting to aspects like halal dietary rules, avoiding riba (interest), and attending the mosque certainly changed my routine and weren't always easy, but they didn't leave me unhappy or weary. I just made them part of my life. However, one Islamic guideline continues to leave me feeling disoriented and confused: I don't quite know how to navigate it. I've been at university for about five years, and as I became more religious over the past three years, I've gradually stopped interacting with non-mahram women-from ending any informal advances to not maintaining female friendships (the latter wasn't too difficult, honestly). I'm caught between a desire to meet a potential spouse and the fear of crossing boundaries. How can I truly come to love a woman if I cannot freely engage with her? I long to get to know someone, share our interests and dreams, and naturally progress toward a future of marriage, rooted in genuine affection. My dear brothers and sisters, I simply yearn to experience love... I've never been in love before (for reasons unrelated to Islam in my earlier years). I want to feel those nervous butterflies, to understand what a committed, loving relationship is like-but instead, I often feel isolated, unseen, and alone. What alternatives exist? Relying on others to suggest a match, only speaking with her in chaperoned settings, then entering marriage without knowing if love exists between us? How does that differ from living with a stranger? My parents never taught me about such arrangements, so it all feels foreign and daunting. I apologize if my words seem disrespectful-to you or to our faith. These thoughts constantly swirl in my mind, leaving me confused and sometimes frustrated. I'm unsure where to turn or what to think. Please, share any comforting advice you might have. Jazakum Allahu Khayran.