Struggling With My Iman, Need Guidance

Assalamu alaykum - I became Muslim a few months ago, and since then I’ve been carrying a lot of emotional and spiritual pain. I thought taking the shahada would bring me peace, purpose, and nearness to Allah, but most days I feel guilt, emptiness, and confusion instead. When my wife talks about how she prays a lot or does dhikr, it brings me to tears. Not because I don’t want her to grow spiritually, but because it highlights how far I feel from that state. I want to share her joy and not feel diminished, but it hurts so much. I cry during my salah sometimes - out of shame for not connecting, and sometimes because I’m pleading to feel something real. I encounter things that are meant to confirm the Qur’an and parts of me want to accept them, but my heart won’t open. It’s like there’s a wall between my mind and my heart and I can’t figure out why. I feel distant from the Prophet ﷺ and from many of the Arabic and cultural aspects of Islam. I try to read, learn, and pray, but it all feels foreign, like I’m living someone else’s path. The harder I push, the more distant I become. Right now I’m unsure what I truly believe. I don’t want to leave Islam, and I don’t want to hurt my wife, but I feel lost and spiritually empty. I just wish I could feel close to Allah instead of carrying this confusion, guilt, and loneliness. If anyone has practical advice, personal experiences, or duas that helped you when you felt distant, I’d really appreciate hearing them. Jazakom Allah khair.