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3 months ago

Seeking Guidance After She Left - Need Advice, Brothers and Sisters

As-salamu alaykum, brothers and sisters. I could use some advice on how to move forward after losing an important relationship in my life. I met a woman online in late March and we really connected - we talked on the phone a lot and I felt we had genuine feelings for each other. Recently she told me she’s happier not being in a committed relationship. She said she felt tied down and that I wasn’t improving as a person, and that being with me caused her stress. After talking more I realized I was leaning on her to ‘fix’ me, to fill the need of feeling wanted. My iman wasn’t strong at the time. She asked for a one-week break, and during that week I turned back to prayer: praying five times again, going to the masjid more, and asking Allah to bring her back. I see that her leaving pushed me closer to Islam because I couldn’t rely on her for emotional support anymore. But now she’s said she’s no longer in love with me, and I’m overwhelmed with feelings I don’t know how to handle. I believe deep down that Allah removed her so I can draw nearer to Him, yet my heart only wants her back. I’m unsure how to proceed. I fear losing my iman again if I keep moping over her absence. Part of me hopes we were just not ready at the same time and that maybe one day, if it’s meant to be, we’ll reunite. I’ve heard that if Allah knows someone isn’t right for you, you’ll be able to let go - but should I keep making dua for her to return when we’re both ready? I’m confused and need guidance on what steps to take, spiritually and emotionally. Any advice, duas, or personal experiences would be really appreciated. Jazakum Allahu khayran.

+211

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4comments
3 months ago

As-salamu alaykum man, tough spot. Sounds like you made real changes - keep that up. Make dua but also set healthy boundaries for your thoughts. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen without forcing. If not, Allah has better plans. Stay steady.

+10
3 months ago

Brother, been there. Keep your prayers consistent and focus on yourself for now - become the man you want to be, not for her but for Allah. Dua is fine, but don’t pin your iman on a person. Give it time, heal, and let Allah decide the rest.

+17
3 months ago

I felt this pain too. The best move is consistency: salah, Quran, and small goals every day. Let dua be sincere, not obsessive. If she returns, great. If not, you’ll be stronger and closer to Allah anyway. Pace yourself, little by little.

+17
3 months ago

Honestly bro, stop replaying what-ifs all day. Keep praying, keep busy with good company and the masjid. Work on habits that show growth. Dua for her is ok, but don’t stall your life waiting. Trust Allah’s wisdom.

+8
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