Questions about marriage as a new Muslim - salam
Assalamu alaikum, new Muslim here. I converted from paganism a week ago. I’ve been in a relationship with a woman for almost a year and I love her a lot. I want to marry her; I proposed before I embraced Islam. We’ve talked some about faith. We both believe in God. She doesn’t know much about Islam, and honestly I’m still learning too. I’m reading an English translation of the Qur’an and listening to the Arabic recitation. I’ve started trying to keep the five daily prayers. She’s completely fine with me being Muslim, which is amazing. The hard part is my financial situation - I’m very poor, on disability, and in debt. Family could be an issue too. Her family accepts me and the better part of my family accepts her. The rest of my family doesn’t accept me, so that’s complicated. I hope she will be guided to Islam in time, but if she doesn’t, I still feel like our meeting was meant to be. We weren’t looking for love - we connected over tabletop games and met for dinner to talk about gaming, life, and stuff, and things naturally turned into dates. We both felt it when we were pretty low. Over time we met each other’s families and friends, spent local holidays together, and shared deep conversations. For context: we’re in the United States, she’s 25F and I’m 34M. We met earlier this year when she was homeless and I was dealing with disability issues but had housing. Things have improved for both of us - she’s now staying with friends and my health is a bit better. The more I learn about her, the more I fall for her. My path to Islam is a little strange. My first exposure was through negative news about extremism. Later I took a world religions class in college, made Muslim friends, read the Qur’an for class and kept reading it afterward, volunteered as an English tutor and met more Muslims, found Qur’an recitations online, read library books about Islam, and now I’m getting ready to visit the local masjid for the first time. The woman I hope to marry came into my life during that journey. She isn’t very religious but believes in one God and has a kind heart. I’m wondering what practical steps I should take to marry her now that I’m Muslim. Does my earlier proposal still count, or should we make a new formal proposal with Islamic steps? What should I do about mahr, witnesses, wali, and the nikah process given my financial limits and our mixed levels of religiosity? Any advice would really help - please be gentle, I’m still new to all this. JazakAllah khair.