Please Stop Giving Patience Lectures to the Sick and Disabled

Assalamu alaikum, I keep seeing posts from brothers and sisters dealing with disabilities or serious illnesses, and they’re just looking for comfort. But instead of receiving empathy, they get hit with things like “Have more sabr” or “You’re too attached to this dunya.” And then some even say, “If I were you, I’d never complain. I’d just be patient.” Let’s be real-unless you’ve been through a disability or chronic sickness yourself, you don’t truly grasp how heavy it is. It’s so easy to talk when you aren’t the one facing pain, limitations, fear, and daily struggles. I have a health condition myself, and I could never look at someone in a harder spot and tell them they love dunya too much or need to just be patient and not be weak. That’s not kindness or useful advice. Some folks act like they’re more pious just because they haven’t been tested in that way-that’s arrogance. You don’t know how you’d cope until Allah tests you. Many imagine they’d be strong, but the weight of severe illness or disability is often beyond what they can imagine. Sabr matters, but so does compassion. If someone is hurting, show them warmth, make du’a for them, and be there for them. Not everyone needs a sermon. If you can’t truly understand their pain, don’t act like you can.