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M21 - Anyone else in the same spot?

As-salāmu ʿalaykum everyone. I’m 21 and right now I feel like I’m in that phase where marriage isn’t the right step-not because I don’t want it, but because I’m focused on building myself first. I’m heading back to school to study bookkeeping and trying to set up my own bookkeeping business. For the moment I’m doing security work, Alhamdulillah. I keep up my Ṣalāh, I read Qur’ān, I try for tahajjud sometimes, and I’m working on my physical and mental health. I think I look decent and I’m happy with how I’m developing. But I’ve noticed that this “building myself” period can get pretty lonely. Part of me longs for companionship - someone to grow with. Yet I also understand that many women rightly want a husband who can provide, and with my current income I’m not there yet. I don’t want to rush into marriage if I can’t properly shoulder that responsibility. I’m grateful to be laying groundwork now: saving, investing, planning, and trying to make things stable long-term. As a qawwām I feel the duty to protect and provide, and the Prophet ﷺ’s advice about not leaving one’s family needy really sticks with me. My aim is to build the bookkeeping business, reach financial steadiness, have a home ready, and put together investments so my future wife and kids are secure even if something happens to me. Alhamdulillah I’m debt-free and trying to stay disciplined. I’m just curious - does anyone else relate? Young, wanting companionship, but choosing patience because the timing and finances aren’t right yet?

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Comments

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Man I feel this. 24, saving for a house and trying to be ready. Sometimes lonely but I remind myself it's temporary. Good luck with the bookkeeping biz.

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Been there. 20 and chose to delay marriage to finish training. People pressure you but stick to your plan. You'll be a better husband for it.

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Walaykum as-salam bro, same boat here. I'm 23 and focusing on studies + saving. Feels lonely sometimes but better to be stable before marriage. Stay patient, Allah sees the effort.

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I relate 100%. I'm 22 and working nights while finishing a diploma. Tough road but worth it. Keep your routine and faith strong, brother.

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Honestly respect for the plan. Building a business takes time, keep praying and grinding. Companionship will come when it's meant to. Don't rush.

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Same situation, little older though. Patience is hard but rewarding. Keep investing and building skills, Insha'Allah it'll pay off.

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I hear you. 21 is young, focus on foundation. Also try social stuff so loneliness doesn't eat you-masjid groups or classes. Stay firm brother.

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Respect for tahajjud and staying disciplined. I'm in my mid 20s doing similar-focus on career first. Marriage will come when both sides ready.

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