Is this Allah's way of testing my faith? Just turned away a director job while jobless due to Riba concerns.
As-salamu alaykum everyone, I’m really struggling emotionally and mentally right now, and I’m not sure what to make of it all. I could really use some advice and support from my Muslim brothers and sisters as this blessed month draws to a close. This Ramadan has been the most challenging one I’ve ever experienced, even though it’s been productive in its own way. Dealing with personal heartaches, family issues, and being physically unwell during the last ten nights has left me feeling completely drained. My mind has been racing, and I’ve spent many nights in heartfelt conversation with Allah, just sharing all my worries and hopes. Today, though, something happened that felt like a final challenge, and I’m left wondering if this is a test from Allah or if I’m just making things more difficult for myself. I’ve been unemployed and really anxious about my future. Out of the blue, an old contact offered me a director-level job-I hadn’t spoken to him in years. On paper, it seemed perfect: a great title, a huge salary, and the career restart I’ve been praying for. But here’s the issue: the job was in conventional banking, which involves dealing with Riba. This Ramadan, I’ve been working hard to improve my life and strengthen my relationship with Allah. I felt that if I want true barakah in my future and my home, I can’t build it on something involving interest. So, even though I’m jobless, exhausted, and not feeling well, I made the tough choice to say no. I sent the rejection today, trusting that if I leave something for Allah’s sake, He will provide something better. Hitting send felt like stepping off a cliff. By worldly standards, it looks like a crazy decision. I feel empty and scared. Is this what a test from Allah feels like? Does He push you to your limits right before things get better? Or am I overthinking the Riba issue when I’m in such a desperate situation? Tonight, I found myself crying at the masjid during the Khatam, feeling like I’m losing my safe space as Ramadan ends. Please remember me in your duas for halal rizq and the strength to stay firm on this path. Has anyone else ever passed up a "dream" opportunity for the sake of their deen? Does it truly get better after such a sacrifice? Eid Mubarak to you all.