I’m Struggling with Jealousy - Need Your Advice, Please

Assalamu alaykum brothers and sisters, I’ll be brief. Not long ago, a pious woman I admired - someone I thought would have made an ideal wife - got married, and I only found out later because I had deleted my Instagram. A few days after that, another woman I cared about announced her marriage to a friend of mine, and that hit me hard. Today at university I spoke with a fellow labmate who’s about to file a patent for his discovery. He seems to be reaching a high point in life. Meanwhile I’m here feeling like I live in other people’s shadows. I’m in debt, have family problems and no father figure, battling both mental and physical struggles including a bad skin condition, short in stature, and stuck in a foreign country - I literally can’t leave because of how things have worked out for me. I’m missing out on love while friends already have families, children, and stable incomes. I have so much jealousy and I don’t know how to channel it. Seeing my labmate with the patent almost made me break down - it’s painful to feel I’ll never reach that level. The woman from high school is married now too; I liked her for a long time but knew it wouldn’t work out, and still it hurts to see her go. At one low moment while walking to get lunch I found myself thinking, “Ya Allah, if these are my tests, then grant me death if the afterlife will be better for me.” Saying that felt wrong and sickening, but I was overwhelmed. I’d appreciate any advice, duas, or words of comfort. Jazakum Allahu khairan.