Finding Strength in Faith with a Visible Disability

As a Muslim living with a visible disability, I've come to accept my situation. No amount of well-meaning advice or Islamic lectures I listen to can truly answer why I was created this way. I attend the masjid for my salah as a duty, but I often leave right after, not staying for reminders or duas. In my heart, I know my condition won't change in this life. My main dua now is simply, 'O Allah, forgive me and grant me patience.' For years, I sought answers in books and from scholars, but after 30 years, I feel I've been chasing something unreachable. I've lived a halal life, alhamdulillah, avoiding major sins, so I struggled with 'why me?' These thoughts kept me awake, questioning my existence when others seemed to face no such tests. Now, I understand some questions in this dunya just won't be answered. I have a choice: to live with it or not. I continue for the sake of my parents, may Allah reward them, though I sometimes feel I'm a burden. I fear the future, especially being left alone after my family passes. All I ask from Allah is sabr.