Feeling Lost After Trying to Return

I've messed up so much, even during Ramadan, and now I don't know how to fix myself. Islam feels so far away from my daily life-I haven't been to the mosque in years. I tried fasting for a couple of days after a long time, but then I had a tough moment with my mental health and ended up doing things I deeply regret. I've been stuck at home for two days, wondering if I'm just destined to be among those mentioned in the Quran. Why did I fall apart right after trying to reconnect with my faith? I attempted to pray after so long, too, so why does living Islam feel impossible for me?